Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

With today's link being: albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php , featuring a disillusioned animated rabbit lamenting how "everyone else has had more sex than me." (As sung by Bernard Derriman.) I don't know what's more disturbing: how catchy the song is, or how the rabbit looks so cute & dejected that by the end you acually are sorry for him and want him to have more sex.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to shuffle off and listen to the Planet Smashers' song "Super Orgy Porno Party."

Today's Lesson: it is counterproductive to try and fasten a price tag to your thumb instead of to a pair of mittens.


posted by Phillip at 10:00 AM

 

One of the many tasks we need to do at my job is to take out all the cardboard from our daily shipments, and toss the cardboard into the specialty compactor. Usually we have a ridiculously small amount of boxes from the kiosk, whereas the store itself garners enough for 2-3 separate trips to the compactor. Since it was a rather quiet evening, and there were two of us manning the kiosk, I volunteered to help the beleagured evening-shifters at the store by taking out the recycling for them.

On my first trip out to the cardboard compactor, I discovered on the ground a peculiar, round red object inside a plastic wrapper. "Good heavens!" I thought to myself, "Someone else who was recycling cardboard dropped one of their condoms!" But as it turned out, upon closer inspection I realized it was just a red button.

Oops.

In other news, from what I've been able to glean based on the video clips, President Bush is looking at pushing a special ballistic missile system, which may in turn lead to orbital weapons in space. Is it just me, or is anyone else suddenly thinking of Bubblegum Crisis' orbital satellites and the disturbing tendency they had to wipe out large neighbourhoods by mistake? Though if we go by previous articles found in the World Weekly News--if Dick Cheney is in fact a robot, we could just rename him Largo!

Carnivorous Forest Update: still refusing to eat heroes, despite the heroes now being chocolate-covered.


posted by Phillip at 8:11 PM

 

There's the pitter-patter sound of feet in our apartment, and it's not because we're making a bunch of gerbils run across a piece of corrugated metal. Though if one were to hazard a guess, the gerbils aren't that far off. The curious menagerie in our apartment has increased, and the family (as it were) has grown by one new member. For the longest time, Shady's wanted a playmate--a desire that has been rather unique in that she's terrified of any other dog aside from her littermates, but adores playing with cats to no end.

The original plan was to acquire a kitten, preferrably from an animal shelter or humane society. Mel especially wanted a little bundle of fur to squeak all over and coddle. We were hoping to use some of our $-mas money to buy said kitten, and later on go through the rigours of declawing and neutering/spaying said feline. And then, much to our surprise, Chance unexpectedly dropped into our laps.

Chance's history is filled with a lot of close calls, and even greater luck. He and his littermates were abandoned in a box by the side of the road somewhere outside Oshawa. Luckily, someone noticed the box and rescued the kittens before anything unpleasant happened. The kittens were brought to a local veterinary clinic, and all save for Chance were adopted. One of the employees, not wanting Chance to be left on his own, volunteered to take him in, despite her low-degree asthma. For the last few months, she had been searching (mostly in vain) for owners willing to take Chance in. The few potentials all were dubious at best, and so Chance remained with her for almost 4-5 months.

Earlier in the fall, she joined the veterinary clinic my sister was working at, destined to be my sister's replacement. They spent less than a week working together before my sister had to leave. But when my sister called the clinic about a week ago, to catch up on things and see how everyone was doing, Chance's surrogate owner asked, "Say, you wouldn't know anyone who was wanting a cat, would you?" And my sister, knowing what Mel & I were shopping around for, answered, "Why yes, funny that you should mention it."

Before you could say, "Stop spinning the litterbox, I'm making a mess on the walls", Mel & I had adopted Chance. And he's proven to be an amazing find: he came declawed and neutered, with all of his first-year shots. He was raised with a Jack Russel (a.k.a. "crack on spring legs"), so he was used to dogs and in fact enjoyed playing with them. And his temporary owner was more than happy to give Chance away without receiving any payment; all she wanted was to know he was going to a good home. She even threw into the deal his litter box, food bowls, toys, and all the litter and catfood he still had.

In light of all that he's had to go through--with being abandoned, rejected by anyone who really looked at him, and wanted by people who in all likelihood would have ignored or abused him--the name we gave him is more than appropriate. He's a cat who's been lucky with a lot of second chances, thus ensuring he hasn't had to frivolously spend any of his nine lives.

It's been about 3 days now since Shady and Chance first learned of each other's existence. And while Chance is starting to warm up to Shady, he's a bit stand-offish. Which is understandable, considering that Shady is still so excited about her new roomie that she has to run over and sniff his butt whenever she sees him. Other than that, they are learning to play together, and Chance has taken to his new digs, as well as cuddling up to Mel and myself. (Furry suck that he is.)

Though Chance is not without his eccentricities. For starters, he growls exactly like a dog. It's difficult to tell sometimes whether it's the cat or the dog who's just growled. So now we have a trirumvate of odd pets: there's a cat who sometimes acts like a dog; a dog who I think believes she's a cat; and a fish who admittedly doesn't seem strange, outside of his 4-second memory span. All we need is a narcoleptic penguin and we've got a veritable zoo of natural curiosities. Anyone seen one at the animal shelters?

Today's Lesson: true love is typing out your wife's essay from paper onto the computer while she's still working on it, even when you could be writing something else, and then only realizing after the fact that you could have in fact been writing something else, and in the end not really caring anyways.


posted by Phillip at 4:18 PM